In the book we're reading right now for read aloud, the author talks about how in the Balangao culture friendships develop through service to each other. For instance, the Balangao people will often ask a friend to do something for them in order to put that person in their debt. This indebtedness develops relationships.
Our small group has been talking about going deeper into each other's lives. Yesterday Amanda wasn't able to go to church. I had to get the kids pulled together. Easy. Except Molly's hair. I did my best, which wasn't very good. On the way to church, I thought to myself, maybe if I see one of our friends from small group, I could ask for their help. Then all the thoughts of "Don't be a bother;" "It's no big deal;" "Don't make this all about yourself, Andy." As I was parking the car, I saw the D's coming in. I knew that God wanted me to risk it. Of course, T was completely gracious and even seemed excited to help. It gave us a connecting point and a chance to talk about life.
What do you think? Are the Balangao people on to something? Do you struggle with asking for help? Do you think that if you did, it would give people permission to ask you for help when they needed it?
3 comments:
strange i just had a meeting on saturday about cultural differences in mexico and this same topic came up. seems that in many other cultures everyone relies on each other when making decisions, delegating work, etc. while we're very independent in the u.s. it doesn't exactly make for great relationship building.
i'm sure we all could benefit from asking for more help in certain areas. for you, looks like its hairstyling ;)
Andy--
I think other cultures have this right. Maybe it's because Jean A. is 100 percent Swedish that she's so good at this! Her response is always: Just tell me what I can do! May her tribe increase. She has been a friend of the highest order over the years and recently.
Shube
Great point. Jesus says, "Love one another as I have loved you." That's a very sacrificial love indeed. Our indebtedness to Christ can't be measured. And our indebtedness to each other should imitate that.
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