Something that I have been thinking a lot about lately due to some sermons on Wednesday night and other wrestlings is "How do I love and treasure God above the many gifts that He has given to me?"
For instance, do I love Jesus and His glory more than I love the fact that He has forgiven me (so that I can have a clear conscience)? Do I love the gift of my family that God has given me more than Jesus? Do I love the gift of the church that God has given me more than I love Jesus?
Pastor John asked the question last Wednesday, "If you were given the chance to go to heaven and have no more pain or sorrow and to walk the streets of gold and to see all of your loved ones, but God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit would not be there, would you go?" He got into some of his thoughts taken from his "God is the gospel" book and series of sermons. My understanding of this idea is that God gives us many gifts the primary one being the death of His son Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins. The reason that He does this though is so that we might not have simply forgiveness, but that we might have the ULTIMATE gift, HIMSELF.
I find myself often struggling with my pride, self-centeredness, loving myself more than God. I long to love Jesus more than anything. I think that the way that this happens is only through suffering. When we are stripped of all that we have, maybe only then can we truly love what is left. What a scary thing! What do you think? Have you thought about this before? How do you struggle to love Jesus?
Watch this video from Pastor John about suffering. Is this the gift that you are longing for? Do I love Jesus enough to suffer for him to show others about him? These are terribly difficult questions for me. I don't know what to do with them.
I long to love Jesus this much. I long to get to heaven and have the first thing on my mind is to see Jesus!
3 comments:
Thank you for this post.
I am so tired from spending so many nights/days without Alex as he's plowing through this semester. I have used all available brain cells and emotional intelligence to love my children well and then finally process/write my last two posts, so I come to yours depleted. And all I can say is, as I hear Jacob beginning to cry, I wrestle with all these too. I long too to love Jesus above all--but I don't. And some days I have absolutely no idea how to begin to get there. I will come back and listen to the video at a later time.
T
we can all relate to this as i'm sure everyone wants to be loved for who they are, over what they can offer someone else. would i want justin to love me just because i cook his meals and buy him toys?
if i think of it in those terms it's an easy idea to grasp...much harder to do but something we always need to be mindful of.
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