Thoughts on Men

I have been thinking about the joys and struggles of being a man lately. Last week at our small group we had a great conversation about some of these issues. Then yesterday I started listening to Pastor John's lectures on sexual complementarity. This is the idea that men and women are created with distinct differences and with different roles in the church, family and society. So far they are very interesting and challenging.

One thing that I have been thinking about men is what I might term the spectrum of engagement. Engagement is a constant struggle for men. This often manifests itself in relationships. On one hand, when relationships become difficult we may disengage and retreat. This often happens through silence, work, technology, tasks. On the other side of the spectrum is inappropriate engagement or over engagement: anger, abuse, control. The bull's eye is right down the middle. A healthy consistent engagement in love. I made the graph below to illustrate what I'm talking about.


Over the years, I have vacillated between retreat and over engagement. In my life now, I would say that over engagement is where I find myself most. This is a struggle for all men that I know and that I've observed. This is one reason that we need Jesus and the cross. How about you? Where do you fall on the graph? What do you do to try and aim for healthy engagement?